SHARED AS SACRED

Many would argue that a first sign of trouble in a marriage is when a spouse works late daily, finds other hobbies outside of the union or denies the other intimate relations.  Any of these signs are cautioning that something needs to be done, but all of the signs spells looming catastrophe.  However, when any attempt made to address an issue of concern is viewed as critical or met with denial, finger pointing and/or anger, the problems become evident as worst than originally thought to be.  Both parties are blameworthy of allowing a state of disconnect to widen while remaining silent regarding what has led to the breach regardless to what side of the matter they find themselves.  What we mean by that is, you are either on the side of being the one staying super busy to avoid your spouse or the person noticing the void and feeling a need to address the problem. Nevertheless, both partners have allowed the space between them to expand to the point of disrepair.  This can be due to reasons of financial considerations or conflict avoidance but ultimately leading to conclusion.  When these feelings, or lack-there-of, are left to become septic until matters boil over, setting in to motion the crash and burn of the alliance.  This is avoidable, however must be addressed prior to either party feeling undesired or unloved by the other and acts to overcome these feelings are viewed as forced or disingenuous.  Which at this point trying to address it only leads to fault finding and the surfacing of negative thoughts and emotions once dormant in the minds of both companions.  It is the point within a marriage that feared thoughts of separation enters into play and consideration is given to living a life without the solaces and refuge that marriage can bring.  People value and cherish different things in life.  It is important to find a person who value and cherish many of the things in life that you embrace as sacred.